Learning to Grieve Without God: “A weight has been lifted”

From “Part 2 of Grieving without God — Giving up the Ghost” by “Awesome Aunt Kristi” at the grief blog Still Breathing:

Eventually, when I had spent all those hours pondering and processing this situation, I came out the other side of discarding the deity and I felt free. Giving up God allowed me to grieve in a whole different way. I couldn’t blame him, therefore I couldn’t be mad at him, therefore I could take my grief and use it to spend time with my niece. Instead of talking with God about bringing her back, I talked to Nora about how I wished she was here. What we would have done as Aunt and Niece. How I would have been AWESOME to the n-th degree. Instead of spending time praying to a God to take my pain away and help me through my grief, I asked Nora to do that instead.

Perhaps some find comfort in blaming God or finding reason with God for why a tragic experience happens, but I don’t. And in not finding responsibility with anyone or anything, I feel I have found peace with this experience. Does this mean that I am “over” her death or that I don’t grieve anymore? The answer now, and forever, will always be NO WAY! I will always grieve for my niece and miss everything that could have been, but I grieve with love now, not hate or anger.

I truly believe that grieving without God has really transformed who I am. It feels as if a weight has been lifted. I can just grieve for my niece without having any interference from anything else. Now, I can be in the presence of my niece’s memory and feel comforted, not angry. Negative emotions are so exhausting and energy draining, besides, I decided the day she died that I would remember her in happiness. I started a journal to her, but more often than not I hold conversations with her inside my head. They are often one-sided because I don’t need to give her a voice, she doesn’t need to say anything because she has taught me so much already. Often, I thank her for what her short existence has taught me: love.

If you have also experienced  grieving both with and without belief in God, has grieving without God changed you in any way?

About Grief Beyond Belief

Grief Beyond Belief is a safe space to grieve free of religion and spiritualism.

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3 Responses to Learning to Grieve Without God: “A weight has been lifted”

  1. harlan2000 June 19, 2014 at 5:11 pm #

    THE TRUTH:

    “For all have sinned” Romans 3:23

    we are all sinners

    we need Jesus Christ.

    “For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life” John 3:16

    will you pray today and let Jesus Christ come into your life and heart and make you a new creation!!

    let all the unbelief and sadness run out and let Jesus Christ come in!

  2. harlan2000 June 19, 2014 at 5:11 pm #

    by trusting in Christ is the ONLY WAY the WEIGHT can be lifted!

  3. TeaRowz June 20, 2014 at 10:26 am #

    Harlan, your religiosity doesn’t belong here.

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